


Slipping Away

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-07
Updated: 2005-10-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:05:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7095781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angsty scene set during AHITW</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slipping Away

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

sgt_buck_frobisher@yahoo.com for feedback

This can’t be happening, it has to be a nightmare. I’ve got to wake up, I’ve got to see that this isn’t real.

You can’t be slipping away right in front of me, not now, not after we just got started. Not like this…It hurts so much to see you this way. You’re trying to be brave, trying not to let on how scared you are, but I can see it in your eyes. And I see the pain, so much pain. Silently, your eyes plead with me to help you, but I can’t. I’ve never felt so helpless, so absolutely powerless before. If I could, I’d do whatever it took, even if it meant sacrificing my own life if it meant that you could be well and strong again.

Guess it's just another dream  
That's slipping away  
Each time I fall asleep  
It seems I'm just drifting away

 

I only wish this was something I could fight, something physical that I could kill to make it stop hurting you. But it’s inside, unseen and unstoppable as yet. We have all the resources in the world at our disposal and yet nothing can be done to help you or even to relieve the pain. You’re being ravaged, gutted right in front of me and I’m slipping away as well. As I watch you die physically, I’m dying inside, dying emotionally.

Just as you have touched my heart  
babe I wake and we're apart, yeah  
And it's slipping away

My Fred…My beautiful, wonderful Fred. …You’re stronger, more courageous than anyone I’ve ever met. The things you’ve already survived would have driven most humans insane long ago, but even though it wasn’t easy, you came through. Even now, it’s difficult to think about what happened to you in that demon world. How someone so precious, so amazing could simply be treated as a piece of property and hunted like an animal.

And now, some creature has infected you in order to snuff out your life so that it can live It’s not fair; you don’t deserve to die, not like this. Even now, on the brink of letting go, I can still see the spirit and strength in your eyes that I’ve come to love so much. You’ve been fighting this thing with every ounce of your determination and will, never once giving up no matter how bad it got. But I know you can’t hold you much longer. I’m still clinging to the slim hope that Angel and Spike will return soon with a cure, but every moment that hope fades more and more. I feel the rage and anger at this “Illyria” wash over me, eating away at me, while I can do nothing to stop it.

Here comes just another day  
That's drifting away  
Every time I draw a breath  
It's dying away  
First the sun and then the moon  
One of them will be around soon  
Slipping Away  
Slipping Away

 

I’ve loved you ever since I met you. I still remember seeing you come into the rebel camp with Angel, all dirty and half starved and wearing those filthy rags. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in all my life. You stole my heart and soul right away, and I wished for the day I’d finally steal yours. But time and again I thought I was never going to win your heart. Fate always seemed to be conspiring to keep us apart, as all that time I loved you from afar, dreaming and longing of the day you would finally be mine. When it finally did happen, it was a more wonderful day than I ever thought possible. You made me feel whole and complete, happier than I’ve ever been in my life. It was as if I’d been given a precious, wonderful gift worth more than all the money in the world.   
Drifting away  
Slipping away   
Just as you have touched my heart  
I wake up babe and we're apart  
It seems we're slipping away  
Slipping away  
Slipping away 

But now, I’m watching as you’re being stolen away, right in front of my eyes. You’re dying and there’s not a thing I can do about it. In the span of a single day, my world is going from complete and whole to crumbling around me. We hold on tight to each other, wishing that if we held on tight enough or long enough, and if we loved each other enough, it would keep us together, but both knowing but fearing to admit the truth: These few fleeting moments may be our last few together. I know that death isn’t always permanent in this world that people can come back, but something deep inside me tells me that it won’t happen this time. I know that I’ll never hear your voice again or see your beautiful face, or feel your touch against my skin.

 

Slipping away  
Slipping away 

I try to encourage you, to help you find the strength to keep going, but your broken, disease ravaged body simply doesn’t have it anymore. You’re so weak now, struggling simply to keep breathing. I can barely imagine how much pain you must be in, the agony you must be suffering. I almost *want* you to go just so you’ll stop hurting. I want to die with you, because I can’t bear to go on living, so alone and empty.

 

Slipping away  
Slipping away   
All I want is ecstacy  
But I ain't getting much  
Just getting off on misery  
It seems I've lost my touch 

You are the one thing in my life that means more than anything else in the world to me. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much, to share so much of my heart and soul with someone. I never thought losing someone I cared for would be so excruciatingly painful. I dreamed of a future with you, growing old, raising a family, spending the rest of our lives together. But now our dreams are being crushed before they even started. I wished for a lifetime with you, even though that wouldn’t have been enough, and got barely a week.

Well it's just another song  
But it's slipping away  
Well we didn't sing it long  
'Cos it's fading away  
First the sun and then the moon  
One of them will be round soon

I hold you close, offering what little comfort I can as you struggle for breath. The fragile hold on life that you’ve been fighting so bravely to hold on to slowly slips away from your grasp, and your body goes limp in my arms. As I watch you die, I can feel myself dying inside, becoming a shell myself. I go cold and dead inside, devoid of emotion and unable to think or feel anymore. You were my beacon of hope, the beautiful, brilliant light that came into the darkness I’d been living in all my life and gave me hope and a reason for living. Now, the light is gone and the darkness encroaches and surrounds me once again. 

Nothing matters anymore, this life isn’t worth living. I can’t bear the thought of endless days and nights of loneliness and emptiness without you by my side, All I want now is to end it all and make this unbearable pain stop. Perhaps if I die, we can be together again, and have our eternity together. But even if I only fade into oblivion myself, even that is far better than having to exist without you in this now meaningless existence of mine. 

Slipping away  
Slipping away  
Slipping away


End file.
